Human beings as a whole have being dealing with death since the beginning of time. How death is dealt with though, has largely been dependent on what society, or in some cases tribe or community, tells it's people what is appropriate.
Right now I do not want to go through every cultural approach in recorded history, but there is one basic approach that could be widely accepted today if we chose to use it. I am curious for any feedback from any reader, so let us get to the point.
For the most part we treat death like a morbid taboo, a topic that is used in various unhealthy and borderline unethical ways. Many times death is used by companies to make money, other times it is used as a scare tactic to persuade public opinion. For example, some would argue that funeral directors that push a mourning family into a decision to buy a $10,000 casket is outrageous. In a society like ours, where everyone is encouraged to make money, in any way possible within the boundaries of the law, it is obviously within that funeral home director's rights to do whatever he wants. The larger question becomes then, is this the type of culture that we really want to have for our society? I am sure there are many with arguments on both sides.
Another aspect of our society is the overwhelming, never ending analysis of statistics, numbers, and massive overload of data. Interpersonal interactions have become more and more dependent on technological usage than face to face conversation. Add these together and we have a growing problem of an individual caught in a society where he/she has to digest all this available and often conflicting data, and figure out how it affects them, all the while becoming more and more detached from their fellow man. It then becomes easier to grow contempt for certain people if problems occur, especially when one can sit at home and pick what information they feel is best without ever having to interact with anyone on the other side of the argument to see how things affect them.
Take a moment to expand that to combat. Today we have technology that can strike an opponent without ever having to show a face. The threat of widespread death and destruction is forced into our minds by the media on a regular basis. A neurosis has developed within the public, where death with no chance of survival, without any notice to prepare, is causing a mentality of "better him/her than me".
Safety is one of the most important part of the human psyche, and when we become convinced we can never achieve any feeling of that safety, death becomes an even bigger monster. Not only is it viewed as a monster, but a monster that always wins at some point. We become less concerned about helping our fellow man, but concerned with our own safety and survival at any means necessary.
These are difficult and complex issues, and to strip away the layers to get to the core problem may be out of the scope of my abilities, but there is something much more simple that is the biggest reason for this discussion.
Why not return to the old fashioned way of letting someone die at home, in the comfort and peace of the place one would feel most comfortable. Once death has occurred allow the person to stay at home until family and friends have had a chance to pay their last respects. Why take the recently deceased to some generic and false building, where they are dressed up and put in makeup as to give the illusion that they are just in a peaceful sleep?
One benefit, I believe, to doing it the old way is that we can begin to include our youth in a more personal way. By "keeping them in the loop", children can be a part of the grieving process in equal part with the rest of the family. The feeling of shared responsibility and importance may give young people the chance to discuss their own fears, and open a line of dialog with their elders that might give them a better foundation for handling death in better ways as they grow older. This is no guarantee of course, but I fail to see how it is worse than sheltering kids "for their own good" away from death, making it more of a shocking thing to deal with as they get "old enough to handle it".
This may be a concept that seems insignificant to larger social and cultural change at first look. What I think may happen though, is that after a couple of generations of treating death with a different attitude that includes children with equal respect, a domino effect may occur that will eliminate some of the more grotesque practices that businesses and medical fields sometimes exploit, and allow a growth in intellectual and emotional approaches in handling death.
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